The Three-Month Wall

We have now been in Japan for a little more than three months, and I’m beginning to hit a bit of a “three month wall.” I think everyone hits this at some point. I suppose I’m lucky that I avoided the three week wall, three day wall, or even the dreaded three hour wall that cause people to realize they’ve made a terrible mistake and fly straight back to where they came from.

This is the point where you realize it’s not just a fun vacation anymore, the “honeymoon” period has worn off, the weather is starting to cool off, and all those things that were wonderfully novel at the beginning start to wear on you. All of the sudden, your job is just a job, with regular kids that can be a pain in the ass and regular teachers that can be a pain in the ass, except this time you can’t really communicate with any of them. You also realize, to your surprise and chagrin, that you will not learn the entirety of the Japanese language by studying a few hours a week for three months. Finally, you come to understand that the bills, loans, and expenses from your previous life in America still exist, and that it will still take you some time to pay them off, even though you are making decent money.

As you understand this, you will notice even more the other members of the JET program that are traveling to places like Tokyo, Osaka, and South Korea, and believe that they are having a more spectacular time than you could possibly imagine. Their hopes and dreams are all coming true, and they post pictures just to show you how fabulous it is that they are in these places and you are not. All of the sudden, focusing on staying close to home and monitoring finances so that you can be responsible and pay bills seems really stupid, at least in that seven year old, kick dirt with your toe, pouty sort of way.

This is the part that everyone warns you about, the dreaded “stage 2.” You believe that you love Japan unconditionally, so it will never happen to you, but I think it happens to literally everyone; whether it last for five minutes or five months is really just a matter of perspective. There are a few popular ways to deal with this period. One is to curl up into a ball, listen to The National and Iron and Wine on repeat, cry a lot, quit trying to learn Japanese, and do your best to gain sympathy or at least some company by posting sad bastard comments on Facebook.

I’m hoping to avoid this particular approach.

I’m trying to reconnect with the things I know that I love to do, and finding ways to set some alternative goals. I’ve been a runner for the better part of my life, but I’ve never run a marathon, so I’ve decided to train for the Tokushima Marathon in April. I’ve started reading more, and am trying to find little things that make me happy, like vlogbrothers videos or Calvin and Hobbes comics.

Here are two awesome examples that hopefully can pull you out of a bad mood regardless of where you are or why you’re down.

I also am extremely fortunate to be sharing this experience with my lovely wife Heather, who is contractually obligated to stay with me regardless of how shitty I act or what kind of mood I’m in. I am thankful for her, and as usual I’m sure I will be doing my fair share of apologizing for acting like a dickhead for no apparent reason for the next, well, for the rest of our lives together.

I am lucky to have all of these things, and hopefully whoever you are, wherever you are, you have your things too. So find your Calvin, or your Heather, or your John Green, and know that regardless of how you might feel now, you’ll come out on the other side.

I’m sure I’ll still listen to my share of sad music, and I’m as likely to have a bitch session on Facebook as anyone else, but hopefully I’ll stay uncurled and keep moving forward.